Shackled

Perhaps today is the start of forgetting. For months I have loved him - unquestioning and unconditionally. I still do love him. But for once, for the first time, I saw the flaws in him with my own eyes. For months I have been told that the guy was no good for me, I deserve better. I refused to believe it, fixtated that he was the one. Or however arrogant that it may sound, I knew it was true. We were just too different. But love allowed me to accept it. He was far from my ideal. But he stole my heart.

I met a friend today, he summed it up in a line - "Ditch the bastard".

Yes, he was a hazard to my mental health, the unspoken one. I lied and I said I did. But I knew better. How could it be when you have just cried buckets over him the week before.

My dear friends, I plead that you remain silent. Let sleeping dogs lie. Ask me no questions and I tell no lies. To the knowing ones, we shall speak when we meet.

Sense and sensibility is what I seek. The heart yet denies them entry.

I am still hoping. Fool am I. Perhaps I should remind myself -"Ditch the bastard".

Yet, I seek someone to blame. We could not even begin. Is this some joke that I have to bear. While he frolicks in the meadow, it is hurt that I carry. He loves not me and love only shall bring me equanimity. Oh Lord, I say a little prayer that it may begin. For it can be something beautiful. Fate may tease and distract. But I shall remain constant till I am halt and hoary. Or perhaps till the next dear that shall steal and patch my wounded heart.

But for now, I shall send you my kisses over the wind. May you feel them carressing your cheek. I shall call your name and may you hear them whisper as you sleep. And come one day, may I feel the wind that carries your love to me.

I run unbridled. I am a kite set free. No one can rein me in. I just pray that you can love me.

When shall my heart be freed from servitude?