A Full Circle

A new year once again.Going through the motions as some would deem it. I have to say that I am apprehensive, but I am trying to stay upbeat. Things will get better as Nic and I love to say. Yes, things will get better this year. I am not going to backslide into the slum that I tried so hard to pull myself out of. Thank you girls for giving me so much support. (Andritz, Nic, Siewx, Jen-Jen Meihui and XQ - I am including you girls in my post this time! Shao, Alista and Chris, it goes without saying!)

To Alista, Chris, Shao and Shwu,

I have to pay a tribute to you. It been 7 years, and we are going on into our 8th! I am grateful for everything you have done, even your existence has brought me much comfort. I love you all very, very, very much! I can tell you a million times and never cease being tired. Love you!

To Andritz,
It's into my 6th year of knowing you. You have been a darling senior. For being Shao's and my guiding post, a big thank you. I love you all.

To XQ,
1 year on. It's been an interesting year for us I guess. May it be a better 2007! Hugs.

To Siewx, Meihui, Nic and Jen-Jen,
It had been a few months, but somehow there is this connection between us that makes me feel extremely comfortable with you. Thank you and a big hug!!!

To Silly Jiji who does not read my blog,
I love you my dear friend. We are into our 12th year and we are still going strong. A fact that I am extremely proud of. I am glad that we are ever so close despite the time apart from each other. I am happy that we can prattle on incessantly each time we meet despite being absent from each other's life for long periods of time. I am proud of the 2-3 hour long telephone conversations that we can hold and never feel an awkward pause. There is so much to say to you, but you have so much going in your life that it is so hard to catch you. My blessings to you.

To Princess Libby,
We have stuck together through hard times, the sweet periods, quirky instances and done many queer things together. I love you too. May many more interesting stuff come along our way. Loads of love to the royal highness!!!

Let's keep busy girls and have loads of fun!!!! I have got to crash your dorm soon Shao! By the way, keep a weekend free during Chinese New Year Season! We got to have a PL girls steamboat dinner at Alista's home (Am I right? Or will there be a change of status?) By the way, the customary Chinese New Year visit to Chinatown is on this year too! Keep Friday and Saturday evenings free!!! For new members to my life, I am more than glad to accompany you to Chinatown if my schedule permits. I love that place and am familiar with it.

In Brief

Life's good. Loads have been happening. Fun things. Happy things. A refreshing change from all the crying. (Yup Nic, things will get better. 2007 will be an even better year!) So after this hiatus from blogging, here are summary of the things that have happened in my life:

1. My Dad has saw the light of the day at long last!!! I have a whopping 42 inch LCD television in my living room! How cool can that be! Bring it on girls! We are having a movie marathon in my house one of these days.

2. Been dragged to various matchmaking sessions of late. My darling room mate means well and in her words "attempt to forget the lousy bastard and get a boyfriend who can drive you around in a Mercedes." Yes, I have been driven about in fancy cars of late, it's an interesting experience to sit in those fancy cars and fiddle with their functions at the front. How cool - there's a TV screen in the Mercedes that I sat in. And in the BMW - there is this special screen to assist the driver in parking. (Confession: I like the cars more than the guys. *chuckle*)

3. My shopping expenditure is rocketing. I am in super deep trouble. Shopping with my roomie is always a bad idea, we go crazy. Guess what, we visited Ikea and I came back with a bed table. She went home with seat covers and a lamp.

4. Family has been occupying my time. Out shopping with Gran and Aunties which means meals are paid by them! Wicked!

5. Yes Chris, I am trying to go to church more frequently. Shao will keep an eye on my attendance.

6. LOVE YOU ALL! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Pop the Champagne!

To Our Darling Alista!

Hurrah! You passed your driving test! CONGRATULATIONS! I am waiting to be driven. *Chuckle*

To My Lovely Shao,

Dearest Shao,

I miss you dreadfully, it's so hard to meet you. You are forever busy. I couldn't wait to write this post specially for you. For once this year, I cried caused I missed you terribly and not over him. I was reading through the letter you wrote to me when we were 16 and I missed those days terribly. How we grew! Or perhaps you did and I didn't. For I am still the same old Tania who is forever threatening to throw flour at your wedding. The old girl who is perpetually bickering with you. I love you Shao.

Guess what you wrote in your letter to me:
"P.S. : If we keep in touch, and you mature into a wonderful lady. I may consider sending you an invitation to my wedding as a toilet cleaner or something."
How I miss those girlishly days. How I laugh hard at the memory of Linda and Shwu Li chasing me around school with a lizard. Or the times Linda would snap or unhook my bra. Or the time when Alista and I would make the all dreaded 2.4km run together. The times that I would marvel at our wonderful Christine, ever gentle and brilliant (Still is!) I love you girls. It's a post not just for Shao. But it is a post for you girls, of us.

I wish I am able to go back to the days when life was about school, family, friends and God. Where a broken heart and work was a distant memory. I want to go back to that time so much. To the time where we would see each other daily and laugh hard daily. When bickering was friendly and funny. When all was genuine and true. I love those days.

I miss the silly koi pond in PL that I used to take scant notice of. The rickety purple canteen chairs that we would plop on. The corridor where I would spin freely like a top while we make our way to canteen. (Remember, the juniors thought that I was crack in the brain. How would I love to do that again!) The silly ezlink card payment system. Our Chinese tests where you girls would see me pull out my hairs in frustration. The way that we would crawl underneath the table to make our way out when the route was block by big, heavy school bags. The horrid white belt. Our chemical stained pinafore. I miss it all. I love you all

To my dears: Shao, Chris, Alista, Shwu and Sabrina.(I miss ya, but you are forever such a recluse and choose to hide in your family.) I love you all very much. Take care and have a very Merry Christmas.

Love,
Tania

On the Spree We Go...

It's the time of the year where we make this annual shopping pilgrimage to Espirit. For 3 days, we would obsess over nothing but stuff from Espirit. These magical 3 days where my Mummy goes crazy with me. The best thing about it - Daddy picks up the tab and he gets super generous about it as he is particular about us dressing up smartly. (He hates the pair of denim shorts that I so love and freaks out every time I walk out of the house wearing it.) And since Mummy is present to do damage control, he is cool about paying.

We ripped last year's record into shreds. I shall not talk about it, but my parents were frightfully generous about it. For Mummy and sister, it would be the set of clothes that is going to last them for a good part of the year. For me, shopping is an all-year round affair. (Yes, spendthrift me.) But the Espirit pilrimage is the highlight of all shopping trips; and I rely mostly on pants from Espirit so the pants are going to be the staple for a good part of the year. It's nowhere the ranks of Zara and Mango, but Espirit will do.

My parents have expensive tastes in clothes but they would invest in few reliable pieces and last them for a good part of the year. My Mum is never able to comprehend people's ability to compromise quality for variety. Her trustyworth $70 Everbest shoes has lasted her more than a year and remains in a good condition. She has seen her colleague go through 5 pairs in the same time. Oh well. Each to his or her own I guess.

Anyway, it was frightening for once to see Mummy pick up a $90 top without batting an eyelid. Espirit tops seriously are not worth that price tag. The quality ain't there. Their shirts stretch after a few wash - I quit buying shirts from them. I nearly succumbed to my whim for fancy dresses again,but after persuasion from friends and relatives I returned it to the shelves. (Yes, the Espirit pilgrimage is a family and close family friends affair. We pick a day and go wild together. We create havoc in the dressing room. The sales staff's nightmare really.)

So it goes, the Espirit Wonderland.

Guys...

I know my room mate means well, she knows that I am having a tough time moving on from this whole affair with the unspoken one. But usually, I respond to her efforts to pair me up with someone else with daggers in my eyes. To put it, I am just plain stubborn and born with a dislike for most guys. I walk into class with my nose stuck up high up in the air and throw them dirty looks. Trap guys who dare open msn windows with me into saying stupid things and laugh hard to see them apologizing profusely ten seconds later. Yes, I ruin my own market. Even the unspoken one was not spared of my bark. The first call he made to me saw him getting his head bitten off – he attempted to play guess-who games with me over the phone and I had absolutely no patience for it. (Not the first, and I doubt it will be the last.) I winded up being miserable for the afternoon and my poor room mate tried to salvage the situation.

Seriously, I do not care if you are one hunky model from one of the top modeling agencies in Singapore, dripping with money and loves ChannelNewsAsia like me. You are a just a major male chauvinist and one arrogant young master in my eyes. Nor do I care if you are a rich kid who drives a Mercedes Benz Class 200 to school every day. That does not make you anymore eligible in my eyes. For all you may have known, I could have dropped that burning hot otah on your hands with the intention to scald you so as to get you out of my hair. Big deal, you ride a motorbike to school and work out to create those disgustingly huge muscles of yours. My room mate thinks that you are cool, I think that you are one vulgarity and body odour spewing machine. You stink – literally and figuratively. Yes, you may be one hot, cute Caucasian oozing confidence and charm. Absolutely smooth in your pick-up lines, but you are one arrogant son of the bitch. Sorry dude, I am not going out with you for a drink. Beat off. (Confession: I had pangs of regret. But this guy spelled “DANGER”.)

Not that the unspoken one would be any safer, I have no idea what about him that makes me tick. Perhaps he came at a time when I most needed a good, hearty laugh and was the only one who could tickle me silly. Or he smelt good. Or that wicked smile of his. Or that little stubble of his that I would have like to run my fingers through. Or simply, I am just being an ass over him.

Pride and Prejudice

WARNING: CHI CHI, ARROGANT POST AHEAD. [DON'T BOX MY POOR EARS]

I did some browsing at tower A of Takashimaya with a friend today. Tower A (correct me if I am wrong, is it tower B?) houses all the branded goods - Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Shanghai Tang and Burberry etc. Strolling into such stores is always an experience and education. There will always be a sense of self-consciousness and nervousness nagging upon me. Perhaps it's not my place to be there. No matter how confident I attempt to be, or how many practice sessions I have had with my room mate. It's not the life that I was brought up to lead.

My dear friends, despite hearing numerous stories of my tea sessions and tea parties with various friends. I have got to confess that I am dead nervous about attending them. Strolling into a fancy restaurant to place an order confidently came with loads of practice, and I still fumble at them. Unlike my room mate (aka dear friend, as I can no longer call you my room mate soon), she's absolutely confident about what she wants and what she expects of them. There would be this smooth air about her. Anything less would elicit displeasure from her. It's her upbringing I guess. ( But she had a pretty decent upbringing, she's really not that princessy as she attempts to portray herself to be. )

I know I can't keep up with her, I don't even bother to try. But I do see it as an education where I learn. Yes, I got to confess that there are times when I get misguided and go shopping for things beyond my means. Or the expensive tea drinking habits I acquired from her. It's pretty impossible to go without a cup of English Breakfast or Earl Grey these days. But I do try to remind myself that I ain't a tycoon's daughter.

Yet, there are times on the trains and buses and wrinkle my nose at the uncouthness of some young girls. And I would stare at their cheap pasar malam clothes and snort to myself that the clothes you wear from top-to-toe can hardly pay for a pair of my shoes or the handbag that I carry. Yes, slap me for such audacious arrogance. I got to confess that I am ashame of these moments. But unwittingly, I would gravitate towards such horrid thoughts. I would see them chewing on cheap yuppi gummies on the train and think about the nice Marks & Spencers or Australian imported starburst gummies that my friends or I would buy. Would these girls know about Percy Pig gummies or the wine gum drops that I so love. Nay, for they chew on yuppi gummy burgers and open their mouths to flash the disgusting mess to their friends. And they would sniff and laugh at my disapproving glances and chi chi dress in Hokkien. ( I am not a banana, I can prattle away in very decent Teochew, understand Hokkien and speak a pathetic amount of Cantonese.) To be politically correct, I wish I am humbler about such stuff. But often I choose to be an arrogant piece of shit and look down on them. Yes, shame on me.

But I got to qualify that I have no qualms about shopping at pushcarts or Far East. I see no reason in not buying a good piece cheap when I come across one. Just because Gap is such an internationally renowned brand does not mean that I will pay $40 for a T-shirt with Gap scrawled all over it. They ought to be paying me for being their walking advertisement. Yet, I got to admit that there are times when I wish that I could overlook the pushcart for cheap bargains and head to Zara or Mango for my latest piece. I hate the fact that the cheap pushcart dress I bought requires me to spend hours ironing it to get it straight and pretty. Or that reinforcements have to be sewn in for the buttons. I loathe it. I love the fact that I can spend 5 minutes ironing a dress from Zara and have it look pretty decent. Or that my latest shoe purchase from Pazzion would draw admiring glances from my classmates and friends alike.

I love the fact that I can be clever be with my clothes. I love wearing my dress in different ways or pairing off a top with different bottoms to create various looks. I can go corporate, hip-hop, skater, cute or classy with the items in my wardrobe without being a fashion disaster. I scorn the girls who blindly follow the fashion trends and look hideous in that pair of leggings. Or the layered-fluffy mini skirt that makes them look like a fried sotong ball you get from dim sum restaurants. I laugh.

Yes, box me. For now, I shall go hide beneath the covers.