Convulsion

I kill all chances of talking to him usually. Silly me, or it's all part of the process of wrenching myself from him. I make it a point to avoid msn unless necessary. I can't stand the sight of his name, and knowing that he is there and we are not talking.

Our paths often cross, but it never meets.

Some joke that God is playing I guess. But I was told that God played no jokes. (What say you Shao and Chris?) Perhaps he ain't part of God's plan for me. Yet why did the good Lord send him along at my neediest moment. Or perhaps it was the folly in me that randomly sought some stray off the street to love. Yes, a stray. Perhaps it was all the recklessness and humour in him that lead me to love him. He was wild. Far from my idea of properiety. But that was what drew me to him, he brought a smile to my face with his craziness. The sole individual who could put a smile on my face.

I build impossible love stories each day in my head. Infinite possibilites fill this love-lorn head of mine. I never cease to tire of it. I basked in the sweetness of these imaginations. I am on my path to being a schizophrenic.