Revelation

All this while that I have been on the search,
In this futile search that has sent me out on long walks
On cold, rainy days against the bleak Singapore streets.
To the dark, dusty confines of museums,
To the beautiful land of the rising sun,
To the deepest chains of my mind.
Yet I found none.

I have sunk into the depths of despairs,
And foolishly tortured my soul.
Yet the answer was just there. There.
In the deepest shelves of my mind,
Hidden, denied.

I now know what I am seeking.
I fear it, I loathe it.
I wish it stayed young and innocent,
I wish it never grew.
But it was bursting, screaming
With bitterness and love.

I could no longer deny it,
For it had its soul of its own.
Amok it ran,
Pain and sorrow it brought.
I can only weep - alone.
For the shoulder I seek
Isn't there.
His eyes cast to another fair one.
I can only wait.