To E With Love
To E with Love,
Just imagine that this is a pretty envelope with your name “E” scrawled over in my sloppy handwriting with purple marker. I would have preferred to do that, but my words can’t wait and I fear that my memory may fail me.
It’s been nearly a year- out in the open, unleashed, unguided. And I have to thank you for taking care of me for the past year, steering me in the right direction, listening. I wonder if we grew. I guess you did and I evidently didn’t. Somehow, I became a kid all over again. Retreating, fearing and hiding.
My memories of happiness this year have been scant, perhaps one. Even the 3 weeks in Japan drew nothing but tears from me. I would spend long hours on the Shinkansen looking out of the window crying to the bleak landscape. Visited countless temples in search of an answer but only to find nothing. I am glad you found happiness. At least, your happiness can compensate for the lack of mine.
I am sorry that this room mate thing did not work out. I am sorry that I have been absent and nothing but trouble for you. I am sorry that I could no longer look after you like I once did. I can no longer watch over you always and hold on to you like I once did, KX has to take my place now. But I promise you that I will be there for you if you ever fall, to catch you in my capacity as a kid, as a person who is struggling to find her own feet in life.
I can only say, “Take care and be good”.
Love,
T
Just imagine that this is a pretty envelope with your name “E” scrawled over in my sloppy handwriting with purple marker. I would have preferred to do that, but my words can’t wait and I fear that my memory may fail me.
It’s been nearly a year- out in the open, unleashed, unguided. And I have to thank you for taking care of me for the past year, steering me in the right direction, listening. I wonder if we grew. I guess you did and I evidently didn’t. Somehow, I became a kid all over again. Retreating, fearing and hiding.
My memories of happiness this year have been scant, perhaps one. Even the 3 weeks in Japan drew nothing but tears from me. I would spend long hours on the Shinkansen looking out of the window crying to the bleak landscape. Visited countless temples in search of an answer but only to find nothing. I am glad you found happiness. At least, your happiness can compensate for the lack of mine.
I am sorry that this room mate thing did not work out. I am sorry that I have been absent and nothing but trouble for you. I am sorry that I could no longer look after you like I once did. I can no longer watch over you always and hold on to you like I once did, KX has to take my place now. But I promise you that I will be there for you if you ever fall, to catch you in my capacity as a kid, as a person who is struggling to find her own feet in life.
I can only say, “Take care and be good”.
Love,
T
posted by ennui at 4:31 AM
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